My dream girl; 

(Inspired by something my best friend read to me last week from a blog)

1. Must love poetry.

2. Must listen to all types of music. All types. Including indie hip hop (favourite) and classic rock (also favourite)

3. Must love reading. Fiction. Non Fiction. Biographies. Don’t care. As long as you aren’t stuck on reading magazines only. Must be material of substance.

4. Must be mature, and willing to talk things out when a problem arises. 

5. Do not* walk around with an undeserved sense of accomplishment or entitlement. Ever. Thanks. 

6. Someone who enjoys taking a hiatus from society for awhile. I frequently delete my facebook, and other social networking devices for funsies. I turn my phone off for days. I read, listen to music, and write. 

7. Must have a sense of wanderlust. Don’t settle for this city being the best we will ever have. It isn’t. 

8. Tattoos & piercings.

9. Must have a sense of humour. 

10. Not clingy, jealous, defensive, or passive aggressive. I hate all of that shit. If you meet the criteria in this list, there is no need to feel jealous, because I won’t have eyes for anyone else. 

11. Must be able to handle me at my worst. We all have ups & downs. 

12. Intelligent, understanding, & calm. My favourite saying is ‘Don’t fret.’ People get worked up too easily these days. 

13. Must live a sober life, but enjoy coffee & cigarettes.

14. I know I shouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover, but if the cover isn’t appealing I won’t take the time to see the content inside.

15. Don’t be selfish or conceited. There are two of us in a relationship. Not one. This isn’t about you, it’s above and beyond you. 

16. Must enjoy comic books, video games, and super heroes. 

More to be added later im sure.  

I hate people. A lot. A LOTTTTTTTT. I also have aphephobia. Touching my skin feels like acid. 99% of the time. I enjoy living on my own. I like living by my own rules. I don’t want anyone to live with me. Ever. I have also been through A LOT of shit in my life, including getting a separation at the age of 19 from my partner of 6 years. Reasons I enjoy being single.

So, when somebody wants to date me, I try to make it as difficult as possible. Before dating someone, I like to get to know them quite a bit. These are some of the questions I enjoy asking;

1. Where were you born?
2. Do you read books? Who is your favourite author of all time?
3. Who is your favourite poet of all time?
4. Do you enjoy indie/underground hip-hop?
5. Do you enjoy classic rock, as well?
6. What are your favourite bands from the 60’s, 70’s, & 80’s?
7. Do you want to get married someday?
8. Do you want kids?

If all goes well after the various ‘getting to know people’ questions, ie; where did you go to school? What do you do in your free time? Do you want to go to college? etc etc… I like to get a little more ridiculous, to ‘test’ people.

1. Do you go ass to mouth?

2. Are you a top or a bottom? Pants or pumps, so to speak.

3. If I wanted to party with strippers one night, would you join me? Would you stay home & get all butthurt when I come home? Would you possibly play the roll of stripper for the evening for my entertainment?

4. Can I refer to you as my old lady? Can I refer to you as my bitch? How many times a day, before you threaten to smack me upside the head?

5. Do you enjoy cooking breakfast naked? 

6. What kind of music do you get horizontal too?

7. What do you constitute as cheating?

8. Would you be mad if I said your sister/mom/cousin/aunt is smoking hot?

9. Do you use ‘toys’ in the bedroom?

10. Do you go ass to ass?

These are all essential questions when entering into a relationship. Since I fucking hate relationships, I mostly ask these questions to see how long someone will stick around to answer them.

That is all.

Dasvidanya!